Do you want your New Year's resolution and dreams to come true? What if it is all about worthiness?

It is simple: feel and know in your bones, that you are worthy to receive

Photo by Jared Subia on Unsplash

I love the young hippies here in Costa Rica. They meditate. They have communication practices. They sit naked on rocks in the river, quietly, with sunbeams shining on them like blessings from God.

They are beautiful, wonderful beings.

Last time I went to meditate on my own rock in the river, wearing clothing, I found them surrounding me when I looked up. Three naked young hippies sitting on rocks in the river meditating around me. I felt honored. One of them had a beautiful metal bowl he had just rung. The waves of the music and the river itself flowed around me.

So, I was here with them again. The night before, I had just arrived.

Tired and grateful to be where I was on New Year’s Eve, I sat on the polished wooden floor of the yoga shala, ready to drink my sacred cacao. Ready for the dancing, the ecstatic dancing, and the singing that was soon coming.

That was when the unexpected word came to me, in response to a prompt from the person addressing us.

Everyone was guided to feel into the new year. You know. We were manifesting.

I have become a little curious about this now as I have watched people with heartfelt intentions pack yoga classes in January and go on diets that eventually end up leaving them feeling like they have failed, once again.

But I listened to what was being said and when there was a question to ask myself about something, my word for the year came to me: “worthy.”

Well, if you read my post last week, what I was with was an earlier prayer that was caught with an equal amount of shock by the talons of my mind: “I want to be loved.”

Where was that prayer I was already exploring? Why was God sending me the word, “Worthy?” “I want to be loved” already felt like I had work to do on allowing myself to to receive. Now this?

Well, after a few days of contemplation, I have a bit of an answer and I think it might be useful and interesting for more than just me. So I am sharing it here with you…in a post I am writing the day before Thursday, when it will show up for you in your inbox. Last-minute once again…I tell myself with a bit of a frustrated sigh.

Musings, Awake Retreat Center, Uvita, Costa Rica…photo by Terra Brooke

But this post is kind of like gardening. There have been a few attempts at something that were not quite right. There have been a few conversations and altered states without substances. There have been Tarot cards and flute playing.

This post is being written last minute to you.

Except it isn’t.

Not really.

Life is like that.

You and I are both gardening and gardens and things are happening and life is happening all the time. You are never stuck or stagnant. Even when things seem fallow, there is movement.

I am doing my best to be in the midst of the energy of this life experience… and find it interesting, adventurous and unexpected. What happens in the garden changes all the time.

So, let me get back to my point (and bless you for reading in this world full of what feels to me often like too many books and words). Thank you for reading my story.

Maybe it is meant for you? Because this is about worthiness.

Maybe it is time to see the value of feeling worthy?

You see, what has come to me is that no one is going to get their New Year’s dream if they don’t feel worthy. Sure, God hears our prayers. The energy field around you reacts and responds to you in every way. Your feelings, emotions, mood, and dreams are all singing into it and it is answering.

But what happens if you want something, but you don’t feel worthy to receive it?

You know what I mean. Don’t flinch now. I know you are likely very much like me. It is probably a lot easer to hand a gift to someone than to reach out and receive it.

You know that strategy I heard growing up? “Well now Terra, they gave a gift to you, so you need to get something for them. They sent you a Christmas card so if you are sending cards, make sure you add them to the list of people you are sending cards to…” You know. That thing. Gift-giving can start to feel like an obligation.

It is funny as I did not send any cards or give any physical gifts this Christmas and it was one of the most beautiful and abundant days, with special people, ever.

So, it comes down again to frequency and tone.

You can feel that paragraph up above about obligation. None of it comes from love. None of it comes from prayer. None of it comes from being able to receive.

You have to believe you are lovable to let love in.

It is a choice and a practice.

That thing you want this year? You have to feel you are worthy of it. That you are enough. More than enough. That you are a sacred being. That you are God’s prayer. That you are part of the fabric of the universe.

You are worthy. How can you not be?

You know.

That kind of thing.

Ask and you shall receive.

But if you ask and hide your hands tightly behind your back with your fists clenched….well, I don’t think the universe will force things. The universe is patient. All of this is happening in good timing.

God will listen. And God will wait until you are ready.

To receive love, you have to feel worthy.

If you are going into your mind now, to try to think of a way to do this so you can receive, please stop. Thinking and belief are one thing. Feeling and knowing is another. So is experiencing.

You may not feel worthy.

So notice that.

It’s ok.

It seems like it just can’t be, that simply noticing something and not pushing it away can be enough. That that in itself, can change things.

So I suggest you give it a shot. See for yourself.

Really, I suggest that for everything.

Right now in the world, in my opinion, we are in the process of growing up. Part of that is taking responsibility and choosing, for yourself.

It is so easy to ask God, or spiritual teachers, or your favorite candidate for something, or that book on your shelf to please “TELL ME WHAT TO DO! PLEASE!!!!! Life here feels scary.” Until it doesn’t. Until you say, “Ok, I am going to decide. I am going to listen to me.”

You have to own some worthiness to do that.

You know that story I started with about sitting on the rock and meditating? I meditate with my eyes open, staring at something in the river. I let myself move into an altered, expanded state and I ask about things. I sing out musings to the water and things sing back to me. My mind sometimes says things. Birds sing. That is my meditating.

So, this day I had set a timer for 40 minutes and when I looked up, I saw a beautiful woman sitting with her eyes closed, a sunbeam falling on her short-cropped hair, and her arms moving slowly, like she was dancing with the beauty of the divine, moving through air that was watery.

That is when my mind started wondering what I was going to do next.

Don’t be shocked.

But this is how minds are aren’t they?

They say shocking things at inappropriate times.

“What should I do now?” my mind wondered (in the midst of this exquisite, sacred, blessed moment almost anyone would give their eye teeth to be experiencing)?

My mind wondered if I needed to get in the river and swim a bit? Maybe it was time for me to swim naked? Or not. Maybe I should leave my clothes on? They could dry…..etc…etc…etc… (Dear-reading-friend, I want you not to know what I am talking about here and I imagine you do).

All those thoughts and my question about what to do next formed into a sentence. The sentence may have come from my mind. It felt a little like it might have come from a subtle being. Either way, I had my answer.

“Get in the water and swim a bit.”

But, as a newly forming sovereign being, I didn’t just listen.

I paused.

I observed what was happening.

I had a sense of being told what to do next.

What I was being told fit the moment. But it didn’t come from me, from feeling the actual pull and energy of what to do next from my inner being, from my heart, from my soul.

So, I felt my own inner compass. My own inner compass told me it was time to leave. To come back later to swim.

So I did.

View from the meditation rock, toes in the water…photo by Terra Brooke

You see, I have also noticed that if I do get a sense of guidance from subtle beings that I trust, they never, never tell me what to do. They may suggest. They may give me images. Words may come to me that expand my awareness.

But they never say, “do this.”

I think if you or other people (including me) don’t feel worthy, it is easier to listen to things outside ourselves, including our thoughts.

It is easy to miss listening to our inner compass.

So that is something to notice too.

Sometimes it is fun to play a game with yourself.

Maybe you are not feeling worthy of something you want? Maybe that New Year’s wish is now sitting like a rock in the pit of your stomach and you feel you will never get it because now, after reading this, you can feel just a little bit how a tiny part of you might not feel worthy of it?

If that is the case, then just pretend: “If I did feel worthy, how would it feel to receive this?”

“What if I pretend I am getting this?”

And notice.

Whatever is happening is simply waiting to be noticed.

Even if your hands are clenched behind your back, you can notice. Maybe you smile a bit when you see yourself contracting away from what you wish you could get? There is a good reason for it, even if you don’t remember why you may do it.

Just notice.

Worthiness.

Humility also comes with this. Because I can feel how I absolutely don’t want to walk around as an authority of anything. I can feel the ego in this.

But add a dose of humility…along with a splash of:

Trust Yourself

And you have quite a recipe for soul-growth, and an expansive, sovereign expression of the blessing of this experience of life, whatever it is.

Realize you are God’s prayer and you are worthy.

Do not give up discernment to outside voices or authority.

This is growing up.

You can listen to God and subtle beings and remember that discernment and choice is part of how you were designed.

A soul becomes an adult by listening to others and then deciding. You take things in. You let yourself feel, even the hard stuff. You get curious.

Let’s flow into a bit of prose here:

Worthiness

It is different from asking to be told what to do.

To listen to yourself and trust yourself,

you have to feel worthy

otherwise, how can you ever receive all those New Year’s resolutions?

You will make them and 

subconscious blocks will stop you from receiving them

self sabotage

unconscious programs

collective energy

so many things can steer your ship astray in the sea

so take the rudder

you are worthy

steer your ship towards your dreams

you want to be loved, butterfly?

then grab that rudder like the warrior you are

hold the reigns of your own chariot

So Shall It BE

your inner compass is also an aspect of God

listen to it

trust it

trust yourself

know, know DEAR ONE

that you, yes YOU, 

Are worthy

and you are loved

Thank you for following my little blog here and for encouraging me on this journey of weekly musings that I send out into the world. May this year for you be filled with expansion and blessings. May you feel loved. May you feel worthy.

Feel free to share this if you think it might inspire or help someone you know…