How to feel good; reality and spell casting in the Matrix

Your frequency matters, how you feel matters, and you matter...

Last week, I wrote about phrases I was practicing feeling in my body.

Why do this?

What if how you feel is more under your control than you imagine?

I used to struggle with Anger.

But now I practice feeling Anger as a pillar of energy in my body that centers me.

I don’t make it bad.

I used to.

Often, I write updates and stories that I hope include something useful to Caterpillars and Butterflies. Perhaps you don’t resonate with that? Perhaps you are a Bear? or a Bee? It’s ok. I hope this is useful to you too. Sometimes, we embody aspects of many things, just like emotions.

This week, I am in Mexico City with a family member, who I haven’t seen in a year. And I decided to honor that by writing this early and offering you a practice.

How do you want to feel?

What are you working on and want more of in your life?

What feelings are hard, or habitual?

Is anything coming to you as you read or listen to this?

If not, that’s ok too.

Numbness is also an important thing to notice. Numbness is a feeling. Or a mind that is blank. Just notice it.

Sometimes questions need space around them and answers don’t always come as quickly as one expects.

I believe one of the most important, impactful things I have done since I moved out of California in 2012, went through a divorce, and took a deep dive into personal transformation and trauma work, is to simply feel things in my body that I want to experience more of.

I came across these words on the sidewalk yesterday as I was walking home. I feel the Matrix is always speaking to me and sometimes, it is so odd it makes me wonder about my life experience and often laugh at what comes to me.

I paused and gazed down at the words scrawled into the concrete.

“Are you real?”

Do you feel real?

To feel, even when the feeling is noticing that you feel nothing and are blank, or numb, seems to me to be the most real thing of all.

My answer to the words began to grow inside of me. “I am feeling and noticing things, and that seems real.”

Feelings are more than body sensations.

They are frequency states.

They are energy.

I read the words again.

“Are you real?” says the Matrix-sidewalk.

“What is reality?” I ask it back (it is a question I wonder about more often than I used to).

Let’s say reality is what you experience here in the Matrix.

Don’t you want to know how to hack it?

Sometimes, hacking the Matrix involves lots of things. Sometimes it involves energy moving through your body while you twitch and shake on the floor in generally socially-unacceptable ways.

Maybe you head to Peru and take Ayahuasca? Maybe you see layers of reality you had never seen and know now, that much of so-called reality that exists beyond your physical senses?

And yeah!

All those things can be helpful, or challenging, which is helpful too in the long run.

Or maybe you have done none of those things. You have had different experiences in life, equally valid and uniquely your own.

We are all experiencing a unique version, a subjective version of reality.

“Are you real?” says the sidewalk.

“How can I not be?” I ask it.

Which led me to wondering about spell casting.

This has been coming up for me in various emails and threads lately and I want to give people credit for what they have brought to me before I get down to it and tell you how to cast a few spells.

Jacqueline Rendell

made a six minute audio of an excerpt from Neville Goddard’s book, The Power of Awareness. She read, “I am…” and continued with Neville’s explanation of those two words he calls, through Jacqueline’s soothing voice, “the self-definition of God.”

“Are you real?” asks the sidewalk.

The Matrix sends me Jacqueline’s audio.

I wonder…and know that certainly, “I am,” noticing the words in front of my toes and experiencing what I call “my life.”

The sidewalk and I stare one another down for a moment.

“Are you real?” I ask it now.

Can it answer the question written by someone, into wet cement that now is filled with heat and dryness from the desert sun?

Sol Brah wrote this in a recent group email I received titled only REAL wizards will understand:

I AM is a magic spell…

What does this mean?

It means that the words I AM have immense power, and it’s all related to what you say after I AM.

Listen to yourself and pay attention when you say “I AM …” and especially what you say regularly.

Whenever we cast the spell “I AM” we are aligning ourselves with that reality.

I AM will bring you closer towards whatever it is that you speak into existence.

By saying I AM you are saying TO BE, you ARE LITERALLY that thing.

Then he listed a number of phrases that start with the words, “I am…”.

I will come up with one of my own:

“I am a divine creation of God.”

That is a spell. I will tell you why and how in a moment. But if I feel it in my body, it feels nice. And the answer to the sidewalk question becomes more obvious.

“Are you real?” asks the sidewalk.

“I am a divine creation of God,” I say.

Does it hear me?

The answer only works if I feel the truth of it and embody the feeling. Somehow, I believe that act has to do with Grace.

I used to want to change the way I felt about money. I think that is the first official spell I cast with intention that showed me how spell casting works.

My teacher Beverly used to say, “You need to feel it in your bones, Terra.” What if my bones are magic wands and when I feel things, I cast spells out into the Matrix with sidewalks that like to talk to me at unexpected moments?

I remember the book, Happy Money, which I have mentioned before, that has taught me to feel money, and the energy of it much differently than I learned as a child and to feel abundant and worthy of it.

I have spent hundreds, maybe thousands of hours, feeling my body and exploring what I notice. I have unwound things, cut imaginary or real energetic invisible ties to things, been in a room where the teacher exploded a large crystal, twitched and howled on massage tables and done intense breathwork sessions that brought on altered, often beautiful states.

I have been releasing and transforming for years.

And the funny thing is that in the many, many classes, no one made it this simple.

Step #1 in Spell Casting:

Ask yourself a question:

How do you want to feel?

Write down some things you would like to experience or feel in the Matrix.

Really.

Right now.

I will give you some of mine and go through them with you here and the best thing you can do is make a short list of your own things. Only you can know what they are.

Maybe they are things like these:

I feel valued. I am worthy of care. It feels good to take my time. I am worthy of money. Things happen for me. I am loved.

Here are some similar phrases I wrote down months ago in El Zonte. I have tweaked them a bit since, lost the bookmark I wrote them on for weeks, made some new phrases, found the bookmark again and celebrated its reappearance and reminders of these things I want to feel more and be more of here…because….

What if I am as real as I choose to be? What if my realness has to do with how I feel things and what I embody?

Here are the phrases. You can feel them in your body as you read if they resonate for you…or just stop for a moment and feel your own phrases you may have written down. If you are listening to the audio, it may be even easier to feel these words in your body if you close your eyes. Let it be easy.

And if it’s not easy, you can bring some care to what is arising. That too, is a very disruptive thing to do in the Matrix.

Our current Matrix doesn’t seem especially focused on the frequency of care, regardless of your political or apolitical affiliations. But it’s there. And you can bring some to it, by starting with yourself when you need it.

Ok.

Here we go:

Step #2 in Spell Casting:

Feel the feeling in your body.

• I can do anything I set my mind to.

• I accept myself.

• I forgive myself.

• My ______ (for me I say, “book”) is a success.

• The process of completing the_______ (repeat the same thing you used above) is fun.

• I am worthy of money.

• I am worthy of respect.

• I make intuitive decisions without hesitation.

• Healthy anger flows through me like a pillar and provides clarity for me to make choices and decisions that are good for me.

My bookmark doesn’t have much more space on it to write more spells. Last week I wrote about some other phrases I used that I put on my calendar when my bookmark disappeared for a time.

I think the most important thing is that you come up with your own. It is fine if you use the ones I offer, as long as you choose them. As long as they resonate and feel right for you.

These phrases are written in a “and so shall it be” tone. Like a commandment. Like a spell.

Someone recently, on Substack, pointed out that the word, Spelling, and the word, Spell, have a lot in common.

It might have been James Corbett.

I think it is true.

Words are spells, but only if you feel them and resonate with them.

Step #3 in Spell Casting:

Hold a high frequency state that is aligned with the divine. Be in this world but not of this world.

Be conscious of your energetic state. You don’t want to be “against” things. It isn’t useful and it won’t bring you to a different frequency state than the things you don’t like. That’s because you are participating with them in your “against-ness”. Thus, you are entangled with them. You are participating in the frequency of them. It takes two to tangle. That doesn’t meant you have to bypass dysfunctional situations at all though.

Be in this world but not of this world.

If you are name calling at the same time you are espousing your spirituality (as I heard someone doing yesterday), you are resonating with “the thing” you are upset about.

Be in this world but not of this world.

When you cast a spell in the way I have described, you train yourself to resonate differently. It is not the same as bypassing things. It is like putting on scuba gear and swimming in the ocean. You are fine. You can still breathe.

Now you may be frustrated as the Matrix seems filled with things to be against right now, and I would agree with you. The first step is to notice that, and the second step is to choose differently and start spell casting. This means you hold a different vibrational state than the thing you don’t resonate with. You actually choose not to resonate with it which is different than simply being “against” something.

When Veda Austin photographed frozen egg albumen from caged and cage free eggs, it is quite clear from the photos that the disorganized energy in the caged eggs changed for the better simply by being placed near the cage free eggs….and the cage free eggs were not affected negatively at all.

That’s interesting.

Those free range eggs were spell casting in that their frequency state was vibrating outward and physically changed the state of the disorganized eggs around them. Thus, how you feel and the energy with which you vibrate matters a lot. You are a magic wand. And honestly, I believe we are all busy casting spells, whether we are conscious of it or not.

So it might feel good to take the reigns into your own hands and be intentional and proactive when it comes to forming the Matrix around yourself. Of course it is filled with its own frequencies. But you can have a say in things, if you want to. If you realize that you are real…and have an impact.

The company you keep is important. I have been negatively impacted by my environment at times. I am still learning to hold my frequency. But I don’t think it has to be hard.

It is simply a practice, like learning to do anything. Eventually, it becomes natural and easy. You don’t even have to think about it.

Want more money, despite whatever crazy stuff is happening around you?

Feel worthy of it.

Feel the energy of it flowing to you.

Feel the joy of paying for things with love.

Feel money as energy and vibrate with it, at a higher frequency state and notice what happens.

What has happened for me is that I feel much more free.

I started to enjoy paying for things without fear, while also desiring less.

I started to feel abundant and I started to trust, that I will be ok, that there is enough, and that vacillating numbers on paper are just that and that my daily, present-moment experience is separate from whatever the numbers may tell me.

I remember one of my coaches who was helping me with my quest to rid myself of financial anxiety.

It would take about ten more years to find the book that would finally open the door of my jail cell, but she started the process for me.

“What would you do Terra, if you lost all your money?” she asked.

Panic set in. It was a panic I was subtly feeling underneath things all the time.

“I don’t know what I’d do!” I responded with pain and anxiety.

“That’s ok. Just let things come to you Terra. Let your mind solve the problem. Take a pencil and write things down. That’s your homework.”

I sat and looked at that paper after our call and was surprised. She was right; ideas of things I could do to survive if I lost everything came to me. I noticed there were people I could ask for help. Jobs I had never thought of before that I could do and even enjoy. Soon, I had a whole page of ideas as solutions in front of me. And the exercise soothed me. It helped a lot.

And what helped even more was to cast a spell.

I did it like this.

“I am worthy of money.”

I felt it.

I felt how good it felt in my body, to be worthy of money.

I had grown up with people who felt a lot of fear around money. So this was a very different feeling to feel in my body. A nice feeling. To be worthy.

I started to allow myself to pay for things more consciously.

When I remembered, I held physical bills in my hand before handing them to someone to pay my rent, or my taxi driver and imbued them with gratitude and care.

I started to feel the flow of money.

And I felt that I was worthy to receive it.

As more money came to me, I felt less attached to those numbers. In fact, certain experiences arose in which the numbers changed dramatically in one day, both up or down. One of the best days of my life was the day they went down a lot and I realized, despite the investment decision I had made that was not going as I expected, I was still me. I was fine. Nothing had changed in my immediate environment. I was still me, living a day here in this body. And I was going to be fine. I took what I could salvage and invested it in Bitcoin. I didn’t know what would happen, just that I believed in it more than the thing that was tanking.

My sense of freedom and money has caused my life to become even more simple. I have fewer things.

And money feels like care and support now to me.

I trust it more.

Maybe I trust myself more?

Spells can be like that.

They have ripple effects you may not see.

That is why it is good, important even, to cast spells that have a frequency of love in them.

I read somewhere once that the subconscious mind doesn’t hear words like no.

A spell like this:

“I don’t want to worry about money.”

Might sound like this to the subconscious:

“I want to worry about money.”

Step #4 in Spell Casting:

So, I do my best to keep words like don’t, not, and no out of my spell casting phrases I practice feeling in my body.

What if your body is a magic wand?

What if your hollow bones, making blood cells, actually sing and you just don’t hear it with your ears (yet)?

What if the phrases that you feel in your body, the things you tell yourself, are actually frequency states that you send out into the world as you walk through it?

What if when the Matrix asks you, “Are you real?”, you respond, “Don’t you feel me?”

The Matrix is still learning how to feel.

We can show it how.

By feeling things and spell casting as we walk through it.

Here is an example. Let’s make this little quote from my beloved yoga teacher, Jess, at Yoga Oasis in Tucson into a spell.

One version of a spell might sound AND FEEL like this:

I am worthy of rest.

I am rested when I work.

This is how my body feels when I imagine myself spending time in ways that are meaningful and loving (then feel it).

Ahhhh….just that. Can you feel that? Even if you are tired, can you remember and feel in your body the sense of rest, of meaning?

I imagine right now that your bones are singing, and people are feeling it…your magic wand and tuning fork can’t help but cause similar frequencies to vibrate in them as well.

Just like those eggs…your inner state ripples out and affects things more than you know.

Reality is much more than it seems and you are as real as you choose to be.

Until next week.

Blessings on your journey.

Disclaimer:

The opinions and information presented on this blog are solely the author’s and do not constitute professional advice in any field, including psychology, metaphysics, finance, or psychedelics. The author is not a licensed therapist, counselor, financial advisor, or medical professional, and any advice or guidance provided is based on personal research and experience. Readers should consult qualified professionals in each respective field for personalized guidance.

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