I looked through the glass of my fish tank and saw something new

Life can unfold into unimagined possibilities. Maybe we are in the process of discovering light speed?

A selfie of me before the Mi Premier Bitcoin fundraising event with a rock my friend made and donated for the auction. It sold for 1.2 Million Satoshis ($784.61 today). You can pick one up at the Bitcoin Farmer’s Market here for a lot less.

"If someone tells you your dreams are not possible, lovingly smile, nod in appreciation, then walk right around them toward your destiny."

Sean Stephenson #Sean365

I stood in shock in front of Tip. I don’t know her real name, just the one she goes by as an artist. TIP-NZ. Tip is from New Zealand. She is young and pretty. She was standing next to her boyfriend, a tall young man with an equally welcoming smile.

Last night I was at a fundraiser for Mi Premier Bitcoin, a non-profit educational organization based in El Salvador run by John Dennehy. You can read about it here if you like.

I had recently arrived at El Xolo, the restaurant hosting the sold-out dinner and upcoming auction. For me, it was both exciting and a bit daunting. I could see a few people I knew, but most of them were people I was only aware of from seeing them speak on YouTube. There were sparkly influencers, or Bitcoin philanthropists.

Dr. Jack Kruse and his wife were there. I heard they recently helped write new legislation to support medical freedom in El Salvador. Health conscious Paleo and Keto people were gathered around them. Dr. Kruse people stand out. They spend a lot of time barefoot in the sun and show up at evening events wearing Blue Light blocking glasses.

Then there was Max and Stacy. They have a YouTube channel called the Orange Pill Podcast my new comedian friend Graham recently took over for them. I am told they advise President Bukele on Bitcoin adoption policy.

Mike Peterson was there with his wife. They were instrumental in getting businesses in El Zonte to start accepting Bitcoin and creating what is known as a circular economy here. That means that people can come and see what it is like to use Bitcoin as money to meet all their transactional needs.

People flash QR codes on their phones and pay for things like food and hotel bills using something called The Lightening Network.

On Easter day, I was in the car with a couple of friends. One of them was relating an excruciating experience at a gas station here recently. The gas station had its own app to use to pay for things. I assume there was some supposed advantage to this. My friend, Owen, is a software developer who works for a company making a hardware wallet to help people self-custody their own Bitcoin. He is from England, owns two cats and one black Mustang that he drove me home once in recently.

Owen wanted to purchase a snack. The locals in front of him were struggling with the gas station app. Owen said how frustrating it was to stand in line waiting for them to try to figure out how to pay, with dollars through the app, when they could be paying with Bitcoin using the Lightning network. The transaction would have been completed in seconds and cost less than a penny.

But instead he watched them struggle as he stood in line holding the snack he wanted to buy and eat, and waited. And waited.

Owen could see and had already experienced a different version of reality when it comes to money.

And his version was a lot faster and less expensive.

If Owen was a fish in a fish tank, his tank would include a version of the future where people are paying quickly with QR codes on their phones and it is easy. Owen’s fish tank would be the way he experiences the world, or imagines it could be.

For instance, I will share our recent dialogue. Owen owns one cat and a new kitten I recently met. I texted him this picture with these words:

“Does this make me a cat person or gullible? I fed his friend some of my omelette.”

Owen responded:

“Hahah no, taking care of our furry friends is part of our role here on earth.”

So, Owen’s view of the world includes pet care and love as an actual life mission. I find that a beautiful thing.

Owen also recently shared some thoughts with me on how I might support someone I love when I see them in a few weeks.

My fish tank view of the world has involved a lot of questing around how to help other fish that get into binds including becoming addicted to substances. I wanted some new tools in my tool box.

So Owen suggested I ask my friend a few questions that might help them feel their life mission:

“What do you think is wrong in the world that needs to be put right?”

I find that again, says a lot about Owen and how he swims around in his own tank.

I imagine one thing Owen might say, since he spends his time working on hardware wallets for a Bitcoin company, is that fixing the money is a big part of his mission.

I am not sure what I would say when it comes to me and I like to think about it. For me, I don’t want to categorize things as “wrong” exactly, but I do want to see people and myself, expand what our individual fish tanks can hold and how we see things. I want to embody higher frequency states. I want to help others do that as well. I guess I want to be a fish that grows wings and then help other people that are interested, do the same thing. That is a version of a mission for me.

Here is another question Owen suggested I might pose to my friend:

“If there was a purpose to all you have experienced and gone through, what might it be?”

I really like that one, as I got a sense of my answer on my last mushroom/prayer journey. I became aware that I chose everything I have gone through so I could come out the other side so-to-speak. So I could say, “Yes, I know that place where you feel cut off from God and think you may have done something wrong. Don’t worry. You are loved and you have always been loved. It is simply your journey and you are not trapped in the darkness. I made it through these things so you can too.” I can’t teach someone to do something I haven’t done myself. So, I came here to experience a journey of feeling disconnected from God then and come out the other side and realize I never was.

Finally, Owen had another suggestion I might pose to my friend, as a light source for their fish tank.

“Is there a light in the darkness for you to find? And even if there isn’t, is there a purpose you are there?”

I believe Owen was speaking about those moments when people feel really depressed, lost or alone.

Owen had been listening to me discuss my upcoming strategy with the other person at our table who I thought might have some helpful suggestions based on his own experiences working with addiction and people with PTSD.

Owen mentioned that the ideas we were coming up with wouldn’t have landed well for him if he was on the receiving end. My newest let-me-fix-your-life-for-you-please strategy just felt pushy to him.

So Owen showed me how to simply offer a few things that might be useful and then allow and honor my friend’s journey.

Owen helped me see another possibility and in that way, he expanded my sense of hope or trust in a yet-unknown future version of reality. I really cannot see it for myself. When I look at people steeped in addictive tendencies, their lives often seem so deeply painful and difficult, I can’t imagine how they can crawl their way out on their own. (That is when I want to “help” and fix things). But they can. People do find their way out of a lot of things.

And it isn’t that they are alone. Not really. I am going to see this person. This person matters to me. That is support. I will have Owen’s questions in my heart, in case I sense they might be useful for my friend. And if I don’t feel they might want to hear them, I won’t say anything. I will show up and do the best I can for them while honoring myself. That is love.

So they are not alone. I will honor their autonomy, and their capacity and integrity to steer their own ship as they see fit. I will honor their fish tank, which is different from mine. And I will stay in my own energy as best I can and let go and let God so-to-speak. With a few Owen suggestions in my back pocket. They actually feel like support for me, just as much as they might be for my friend. It feels good to have something to offer.

I am sure you have managed a lot in your life and I imagine someone telling you what you should do would not have felt very respectful or empowering.

But I would like to veer back now into where I started out. Let’s bring this fish tank analogy along as it is the main thing I am contemplating lately.

I told you I had just arrived at this special event and was talking to TIP-NZ. I found her to be thoughtful and interesting. She asked me about El Salvador and how things were going for me and something in me wanted to dive in deep and share something that had been bothering me.

In my fish tank view of the world, I was worried that locals here would sell their properties now, that have appreciated greatly in the past few years, and then be unable to buy similar properties in the future if they wanted to.

I had seen something like that in another part of the world and I noticed sweet, welcoming locals become less friendly towards outsiders. I understood why. In my fish tank view of the world, it was because they lost access to their way of life that existed before people with more money showed up and started buying things. Things like property.

I am not saying any of this is true, just that this is the lens I have been seeing things through since I got here. I consoled myself when I bought my piece of land here with the fact that the seller owned other property in the area. But still. I worried. And I am looking for a small house or condo here now.

There is a feeling of hope here as investment money pours in and roads are built. There is a new library in the city. Soon there will be a sports stadium. People are feeling safe and with that, they are feeling free. They are proud and grateful to see that their country is now a place people want to come visit. They are touched that outsiders want to move here and are inspired by things happening here. It is a big change from the years of war and fear that pervaded this country.

My friend, Elieh, owner of Elixir Juice Company, on the square in San Salvador on Election Night when President Bukele was elected for a second term. The new library is in the background.

And I have seen this and at the same time, lived with my guilt and worry about how things might change and become what I had seen in other places in the world.

TIP-NZ looked at me when I shared my concern with her and said one simple sentence that changed everything for me.

She said, “Not if they sell for Bitcoin.”

Then she went on to explain that if the local people here choose to sell their property for Bitcoin, the purchasing power of the Bitcoin is likely to increase faster than the property value over time.

That means that purchasing property with Bitcoin would be deflationary. They would need less Bitcoin to buy it back in the future, if they wanted to do that.

Now, I am not saying this is for sure the way things will play out. And I do know many locals are not yet ready to sell their land for Bitcoin. But they can. And if they do, and if Bitcoin continues to do what it was designed to do, then TIP-NZ is right. And my whole view of how things would play out and how the world works is simply no longer accurate.

My fish tank view of the world shifted, with that one simple sentence from TIP-NZ.

And that can happen in so many ways.

I am not writing to you about Bitcoin. Not really. What I am trying to write about, what I want to convey, is that there are versions of the world that are possible, that I cannot imagine with what I know to be true now. And these versions can be so much better.

If I can live with uncertainty and realize I exist in my own version of a fish tank, and that my fish tank and what I see in it can keep changing for the better, maybe I can relax a tiny bit more? Maybe I can remember that sentence and that moment with TIP-NZ and remind myself that I don’t see all the possibilities for the future and maybe I can trust a little bit more, in divinity? Maybe I can trust that LOVE has a plan and it will all be ok?

I was thinking about that in relation to my life now, in this new place I have found and rented for the next four months, right on the beach.

It is not perfect, and it is amazing. I am happy.

When I was married in 2011 or going through my divorce in 2012, I would have never, ever, in my wildest dreams, imagined the life I am living now.

If you had told me I would be living on my own in El Salvador, writing a weekly blog in a cottage by the sea…and speaking bits of Spanish to people here…and feeling fairly relaxed when it comes to money and life in general? Well, I would have thought you were pretty crazy. I would have thought you might think you were psychic and you were not as psychic as you thought you were.

Then if you told me I would also have a habit of walking on the beach at sunrise most days and would notice the beauty of light sparkling on water, the movements of leaves on the trees, and would find myself, this very day, taking a break to go lie in a quiet pool of bathwater-warm ocean water at low tide, all alone, while a fish nibbled on my calf and I watched a yellow leaf float on the water nearby? Well, again, I would have thought you were completely crazy.

Yet here I am.

And where I will be in the future is a complete mystery to me.

I like it that way.

I want to remember both those things because it gives me hope for the world. It helps me remember that I do live in my version of a fish tank and that’s ok. People like Owen and TIP-NZ will show up and show me other possibilities. My fish tank will change. I hope I eventually grow wings, although I truly don’t know what that means or what it would be like. I like the image though. I wouldn’t live in a fish tank at all then and it would be fun to experience that version of things. I guess I would have to also not need to breathe like a fish either and my mind is definitely starting to overthink things. It does that a lot. I am not sure it is ready to be a fish with wings.

Another way to say this with a different metaphor is that reality might feel like I am on the Starship Enterprise except they haven’t discovered light speed. But they will even though I can’t imagine it. And when it happens, my fish tank view of the universe will shift along with how I relate to things.

Light speed.

Things are changing a lot in the world lately.

There was a lunar eclipse last week, a solar eclipse is coming soon and I heard Mercury is in retrograde.

Maybe you are feeling a little weird lately? A little off and squirmy?

It’s ok.

Just remember, things can change into new versions of what you call “your life” that you absolutely cannot see. It will be your version and it will be what you came to experience.

With all the squirmy things and all the unexpected and beautiful things too.

Light speed and fish growing wings.

We are in the process of discovery.

Blessings on your journey.

Thank you to my paid subscribers. You got this for me:

an iced mocha at Puro Surf, made with almond milk, no sugar, and honey

Here is TIP-NZ: