Is it true? "The perfect is the enemy of the good."--Voltaire
Can you let things be good enough so you can enjoy what you've got without staying in situations that don't serve you?
Reynaldo gazed into my eyes as we stood outside the casita I rent from him.
He had just spoken about a piece of land he is interested in purchasing with some investors. He suggested I might buy a part of it and build the small casita I desire on it.
When he brought this up before, he said I could get one towards the back, a little away from the beach.
I had just told him if I got one of those casitas, I wanted one in front, far from the street lights and noise on the adjacent properties.
He smiled at me.
Sure.
Sure, that was possible.
“And Terra, no matter what you get or do, there will always be unknown parts to it. There will always be things you didn’t expect and things that aren’t quite right. You can focus on them, or you can let things, and places, be ‘good enough’ and simply enjoy what you’ve got,” he told me in different ways over the course of a few days together.
Can you let things be good enough so you can enjoy what you've got without staying in situations that don't serve you?
Yesterday, he came to see a condo I have watched being built for over a year. He drove me to it and the owner, who I had managed to contact (no small feat here), had arranged for us to tour the construction site.
Reynaldo is a developer. He grew up in El Salvador and then went on to oversee large construction projects in Seattle. Prior to that he spent a few years at Disneyland learning about gardening from the ancient, original head gardener there. He told me the gardener at the time was in his 90s.
Those few years with the gardener had an affect on Reynaldo.
It is hard to describe what is happening around my little casita here adequately.
Raul, who lives across the street, has kept an eye on the land for over 40 years for Reynaldo.
Reynaldo has dreamed of doing something with it since he was 10 years old and won the money to buy it in a bank raffle.
And now he is fulfilling his dream by creating a retreat center with beautiful gardens. The art project keeps evolving around me.
Recently he decided to landscape the stream adjacent to the land and my casita.
Yesterday huge concrete spheres were delivered which are part of a new fountain with lotus flowers he is constructing by the stream.
These spheres were heavy. The men had to roll them to move them down stairs, up hills, and somehow get them over piles of wood and debris to reach the new fountain.
Reynaldo tells me of coals that will glow at night from a large bowl he will build next to the fountain. He shows me the fire pit nearby that will have a seating area and points to the partially built platform over the stream where Manuel, my physiotherapist, will offer bodywork to people as they are suspended above the tiny river while waves crash only a few feet away.
A few days later I followed members of his family through the stream bed. I had avoided going down there. It was not the cleanest water and I figured there might be mosquitos.
But I ignored my qualms as I was caught up in the energy of Reynaldo’s enthusiasm which magnetized a line of people to follow him like an undulating caterpillar, through the newest building that is half complete.
Our human caterpillar wandered into the stream bed where Reynaldo told us how he would clean the water using plants, recycle it so it flows year around, and also mitigate the runoff from the neighboring properties that flows in a dark shiny sheen from their homes into the tiny brook. Reynaldo beamed as he described how that black trickle would make the trees he was going to put in a planter in front of it so happy, while also keeping the waste out of the stream and the sea it flows into.
The energy down in the stream bed was lovely. The fountain, begun just a week before, was running. The giant spheres were already installed. Reynaldo commented that they had installed them too high above the surface of the water. But then, I saw him accept the beauty of what was there.
Can you let things be good enough so you can enjoy what you've got without staying in situations that don't serve you?
Reynaldo twittered with delight as he described how this evolving project of his kept changing as inspiration came to him.
Reynaldo is an artist in the midst of creating art. He tells me he is co-creating actually, with Selvin, who oversees the crew of workers here from Guatemala.
Prayer flags already dance in garlands suspended from the beautiful trees.
Reynaldo envisioned a bedroom with a dome overhead and Selvin and his friends built it. At night, Reynaldo sleeps there as an otherworldly scene of stars and soft colored lights move and dance overhead. They were inspired by his childhood experiences of laser light shows in Griffith Park, Los Angeles. An experience I too, had as a child when my grandmother took me to see lights dancing on a dome to the sounds of Pink Floyd. He says he was inspired by those light shows as a child.
And I stay in this casita and wonder about what I want and need? Sometimes, I struggle with the music that is too loud outside. The fluorescent light that beams into my kitchen window at night from the street bothers me. A blind has not been installed yet.
Sometimes, small hand-made nails fall to the floor in the bathroom from the ceiling. When I traveled to Colorado recently, I pulled my pants out of my suitcase, and a tiny interloper dropped to the floor. It had followed me.
I like quality. I want a place to store my things. A washer and dryer of my own would feel like a huge luxury.
I want to be in a place with low emfs (electro magnetic frequencies). A place where the dirty electricity is mitigated. I want to have healthy lighting at night with no florescent beams from my neighbors or lights outside.
Yesterday, I showed Reynaldo a place I dreamed of living.
I took him out to lunch afterwards and talked to him about the price and what he felt I would need to offer for it.
It was so beautiful, I had already told him and myself it was going to be way, way over my budget.
Reynaldo looked at me and started “running the numbers.”
“This, Terra, is what we can assume the seller is paying.”
And when I looked at it like that, it felt much more clear and concrete.
“Terra, you don’t want to go into any deal with the feeling that what you want is worth way, way more than you can pay. You give it too much energy. Go in practically. Make an offer. Trust that if it doesn’t work out, it is ok. Don’t be so attached Terra. Don’t put things on a pedestal that places them somewhere you want and can’t reach. And be happy Terra, with where you’re at. There are always going to be things ‘wrong’ with it. There will always be things you would do differently. Are you going to focus on that and fixing things all the time, or are you going to enjoy the beauty and let it all be good enough?”
He didn’t say all those words this morning. Reynaldo was more succinct. Yet, he had said them to me over our last few days together in various simple, yet powerful ways.
Can you let things be good enough so you can enjoy what you've got without staying in situations that don't serve you?
As I sat this morning on the steps next to my house, to do my version of a morning meditation practice, I was thinking about condos and houses.
I was remembering beautiful places I had been.
One was near Crough Patrick in Connemara, Ireland.
My son and I were sitting in a tiny pub after going on a beautiful hike through the chilly mist and fog that periodically broke into views so stunning, it didn’t feel real.
At one point, we met a musician who had dyed his hair a bright color. Otherwise, we were alone, with the wind whipping and pushing against us so hard it was easy to feel more like a kite than a human in a body.
The man mentioned to me that he had recovered from substance use and that he did this hike a few times a week. It kept him happy. It grounded him and helped him to stay clean.
Later at the pub, we were surrounded with friendly voices and a kind of warmth that my soul had craved for most of my life.
The pub was in a tiny town near that beautiful hiking trail. It was the kind of town where I could live and do my writing. It was the kind of hike I could do like the man I met, “on repeat,” and love it every time.
It was a place I felt I could live and be happy.
I decided not to stay in Ireland for various reasons. But when it comes to places, it floated through my mind this morning as I contemplated buying and owning something again.
The place I showed Reynaldo is more beautiful than anywhere I ever dreamed of living.
That is what Reynaldo was trying to free me from. That kind of pedestal thinking.
Because things don’t need to go on pedestals and no matter what I do, nothing will ever be completely “perfect” for me. Life is not like that. We are meant to be challenged. We are meant, I am meant, to learn how to adjust and adapt to things. To leave when it feels right.
I can buy a place, live in it for a few years, enjoy the gifts of it and if I find there are things that are not resonating well, I can sell it. Or rent it out.
But the key is to let wherever I am, be good enough. To enjoy the journey. To not overthink it all (I am really, really good at overthinking things).
So far, this lifestyle is going well for me.
This country is exciting and it has lots of investment and business opportunities. I am having fun exploring and living at my edge in a lot of ways.
If I listen to myself, trust my inner guidance, and really focus on the frequencies I want to feel and embody, things seem to work out.
I have found my way from four months living in a hotel room overlooking the beach, to a few months in a quieter place near a restaurant, to where I am now. And I found where I am now because I was proactively walking the streets, talking to people, with a wish to see what it was like to live right on the beach.
And I am.
Smack dab in the middle of Reynaldo and Selvin’s budding creativity.
My mind likes to jump ahead. It likes to think of problems and try to fix them.
There are two cell towers near the place I am considering buying. Do I test it for emfs (and there is no cement ceiling installed yet, so the test would not be accurate)? Do I just make an offer because I love it so much and mitigate whatever I find? Can it be more than I ever dreamed I could have and also not quite right and also good enough for me?
Can I keep my focus on enjoying the journey, staying playful, and adjusting as I go?
When I have tried to get things just right, I often failed.
Relationships have never been completely perfect.
There was the time I got fixated on the toxicity of the mattress my ex-husband and I owned. My news feed convinced me that hours spent sleeping on a chemical-laden mattress were not in alignment with a healthy lifestyle. I talked my ex-husband into purchasing an organic one, which was not easy. Finally, it arrived. Pounds of latex that bent as the delivery men tried to get the awkward, bulky thing up the stairs. But finally, it was there. I put on the sheets and dressed it up like a queen. Finally… until I realized it was uncomfortable. That was when I knew comfort matters even more to me.
Some of the things I care about matter a lot. And if I let some things be good enough, maybe they are?
I cannot eat 100% organic and in most situations, still go out for a meal with a friend. Maybe that is ok?
Maybe the fun of the meal counteracts anything lacking in the food?
If I focus on what upsets me or is not right, like the light at night outside my window, then I swim in a sea of frustrated energy.
I have blue light blocking glasses I can wear.
I don’t have to suffer.
When I was back in the US, I splurged on some noise cancelling headphones. Last night the guys were working late. They were playing some fiesta music near my house when I wanted to read.
I texted Selvin and asked them to turn the volume down and nothing happened at the speed I required.
So, I decided to open the box with those headphones that had been sitting on my counter for a few weeks.
I didn’t read the directions.
I just put them over my ears, and the problem was solved.
Suddenly, things were good enough for me.
I could read and be happy.
Sometimes, we say a few sentences to people, like Reynaldo has recently said to me.
“Terra, when you say the place you want seems like it will cost millions of dollars, you put it out of reach. You put yourself in a position where they won’t sell it to you and they will find someone else. Don’t do that. Be pragmatic Terra. Make an offer and see what happens. Then know that it will not be the perfect thing you imagine. There will be problems. There will be things you don’t like. There will be times you need noise cancelling headphones or blue light blocking glasses. You can get angry about the street light or the music. Or you can let things be good enough. Focus on the beauty. Focus on how you are getting a lot of things you want and those things are amazing. And Terra, there is another place you may be able to buy. Don’t worry.”
This is how amazing things happen in my life.
They happen when I don’t worry too much and let things unfold.
When I am curious and live adventurously and proactively.
On Wednesday morning, Reynaldo is taking me to Antigua. I have never been there and with my new residency in El Salvador, I can live there as well. Maybe I will love it?
I wait and see.
I left Reynaldo and his most recent dose of wise words to head back inside my house when I saw a few artifacts on the mat outside I had saved for him.
Yesterday, Francisco had delivered my organic groceries and mentioned that there were lots of ancient things he noticed on the ground.
This excited me.
“How do you know they are artifacts?” I asked him.
“I went to school to study archaeology,” he responded.
I put the groceries down quickly and asked him to show me.
We found a few shards of pottery and a stone that he assured me had been used for something in the past. I carried them back to my casita and set them on the mat outside. I called out to Raul and Selvin. “We have artifacts! Look! Look at these!”
They smiled at me and pointed to another place on the property where there were much larger shards of pottery I had never seen.
They found them recently whilst digging a new foundation.
I remembered this as Reynaldo and I finished talking.
“Reynaldo!” I called as he walked away. “I forgot to show you these things.”
He came to my porch and I pointed to the artifacts on the mat. “These are for you,” I told him. “We found them on the property.”
His eyes lit up with excitement as he scooped them up and hurried to show Selvin.
“Reynaldo,” I said, following him. “Haven’t you seen the pottery?”
He hadn’t.
I pointed to where large clay pieces of broken pottery, some with tiny bits of paint on the surface, were stacked carefully in the garden.
His face lit up in a huge smile as he gently picked them up and looked over at Selvin.
“Selvin, you didn’t tell me! Selvin, these are from our ancestors!”
“I am going to put these somewhere out of the rain,” he told me.
“I am going to put these in a special place in the middle of the last house we build here. I told you Terra, this place has a special energy!”
The smile on his face and the light and de-light beaming from his eyes said a lot more than the words.
Yes.
All this.
All this is good enough for me.
Good enough means there is support. There are people who show me how to “run the numbers”. I have friends I can ask for advice and opinions about the market here. I have a financial advisor who recently did some “back of the napkin” math to show me what I could afford to purchase and then showed me how that related to how much I spend.
“But what if the place I want to buy costs more…?” I silently wondered as I listened to Jessy speak.
He answered my thoughts without my asking.
“Terra, if you spend this much more, your expenses would need to drop by this much…”
I wrote the napkin numbers down in the “notes” app on my phone.
Nothing was set in stone.
I felt more grounded when I heard those back-of-the-napkin calculations. The information gave me a sense of care and security.
When I gave up on my dream of going to the college I wanted to attend because I was told it was too expensive, there was no napkin math or numbers to validate anything.
And I felt disempowered.
But now I felt opportunity. As long as I keep my gaze soft. As long as I allow the carpet of life to unfold and don’t cling to a perfectionistic way of being, I can flow with the divine energy around me.
It doesn’t mean I allow myself to stay in situations that don’t feel right or with people that don’t feel supportive.
It means that I allow more, and adjust to what is happening around me.
I live like life is temporary, which it is.
I live like this is an adventure, or a dream, or an unfolding gift for my soul that God has provided for me.
And I let things be….good enough.
“Perfect” feels rigid to me. It feels like it doesn’t allow for creativity.
I wonder if God is Perfect?
Maybe God is more like art and an unfolding experience of beauty?
Maybe things that feel a bit hard sometimes are still ok? What if they are learning opportunities and gifts for me?
Maybe I can do what Reynaldo says he does, and simply live in Awe?
Awe of things I see.
As I contemplated perfection and wondered about letting things be good-enough, I wondered about my marriage? I stayed a long time, trying to make it good-enough for me. I stayed trying to change myself to fit in a box that didn’t fit me.
That is not what I am learning now. That is a kind of justification to stay in situations that don’t feel right. That is not what I am talking about.
Back then, I was trying to find something in my marriage that simply was not a possibility. Eventually, I had to learn to offer myself what I wasn’t getting. I had to learn to find the qualities I craved in myself and choose to work with and befriend people who could do the same.
Care.
Self-love.
Finding places to live that felt beautiful.
Hiking in AWE of all I see.
Learning to be alone, comfortably and delightfully.
Learning to let go of being needy and clingy.
I asked about this topic today in my guided writing.
I wanted to know more about what “perfection” really is?
The subtle beings differentiated between perfectionism and perfection in the message below…and I realize, they are truly different things:
You wonder about perfectionism. Dearest, there is no such thing. There is simply desire and fulfillment and the dance between the two. You are free Dear One, when your desire is for the divine. Then your wish is always fulfilled for this is a constant presence to which you can attune… Honor what you desire, what you want. Speak, act, all without judgement my love. And in the midst of it all can you feel, can you see that Dear One, it is all divine? You exist in a divine field with different levels of awareness. Different levels of consciousness. Resonate with God my Darling. Resonate with the true Matrix of reality and exist in a different frequency state. This is what Christ came to do and he succeeded. Sometimes the path is through physical and emotional pain and there are many paths my darling. Perfection is another word for God. It is not about what you see, feel, or experience. Let your discomfort inform you. Live for joy. Adjust your compass as you see fit. Honor yourself my Dear One. In this you honor your creator for you truly are one…
—a message from Divine Guidance
Can you let things be good enough so you can enjoy what you've got without staying in situations that don't serve you?