My discussion with my guides about struggling to write and why it feels disruptive to be happy

An example of guided writing; it is good to play in the mud puddles

I have decided to put a few things that feel edgy behind a paywall. It feels nice to put them out into the ethers. It feels nice to say thanks to people too. Thanks for subscribing. Thanks for sending support in the form of money my way.

It is one of the hardest ways for me to receive.

I am much better at paying for things than at being paid.

You might wonder how I manage? Well…I think my subconscious has found a lot of ways to avoid charging people for things. I have figured out other ways to make money. I have taught yoga. The studio had to charge people for me. I have taught school. The school paid me, I didn’t have to ask the kids for money. I was a stay at home, homeschooling mom for a time. My husband paid for things. That was disempowering and that is another story and a work in process still for me.

However, here I am now. I write here for free and people who want to, can push my edge by encouraging me with financial offerings.

Sometimes I think about it as I drink a coffee.

“Terra, there is actually someone who liked your writing enough to buy this coffee.”

I feel one of my edges in life is to learn to allow myself to be paid and valued in that way. It is coming. I am working on it. My root chakra is healing.

You will see my post for everyone this past week addressed the beauty of giving and receiving.

But for those of you who went ahead and signed up for this as one of the “paying” people, I wanted to offer you something I am not as comfortable throwing out to the world for everyone to see.

So, this is a dialogue I wrote asking for guidance as I struggled with my post last week. The beginning are my words to “them,” the subtle beings I feel care about me and support me.

The second part is their response. Some of it I quoted in my post.

But this is the meat of it.

I hope that it may also help you with your own guided writing. Here is something I wrote on how I go about the process.

I hope that also, what they have said to me, may resonate for you.

(If you are reading this and are reading for free and hit the paywall…don’t worry. You have access to wisdom just like me. You can write to subtle beings too. I linked to a way above. )