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Energy... is it a "crazy" thing?
I imagine, if you are drawn to read my offerings, you are intrigued by many things that other people might not understand, or consider possible. That is because you are consciously involved in your evolution. You are on an adventure, a journey. And you know it.
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Recently, I was speaking to a new friend, a businessman. He was smart, successful, and grounded. He managed a team of people, had a wife and daughter, and owned his house. Soon he will be an author as well.
He asked me a little bit about what I do, and I told him I write and was thinking about writing an article on energy and my experiences of altered realities, but I thought it might seem too strange.
I was tempted to just keep those stories to myself and play it safe. Do you know that feeling?
After I told him the topic of my post, he mentioned how he had shared dreams at night, unexpectedly, with people he knew, who lived in other places. That was interesting to him and to me.
Now, I am sure this is not something he would talk about with just anyone. People often will look at you sideways if they are not ready to accept a different version of reality than they have been taught to see and believe.
And as you and I expand and grow into ever-changing versions of ourselves, it is nice to know that some of the things you might experience are shared by more people than you imagine; that you are not as alone as you may think or feel. It is good to know that life is full of possibilities and also, that there is a lot you and I navigate, that is all based on energy.
That is what I want to write more about and I thought it would be good to first talk a bit about the energetic world we live in so that along with growing into whatever new, unique version of yourself you are constantly becoming, you can also expand your sense of what is real and what matters. You can navigate things with more inner power and ease.
But first, you have to know that reality might, just might, be truly more than any of us see or know. And it is comforting to hear from others who have experiences that point to one’s evolutionary trajectory and validate what you are growing into and all the possibility that can bring.
I think this is why he looked me in the eye and said, “You should write it.”
Another person told me about taking psychadellic mushrooms with some friends as they sat at the top of a cliff above the ocean. They all “saw” the same thing. I think it was the moon, or sun exploding. But they shared this image, which some people would call a hallucination, without talking about it first. I would like to know how one could hallucinate that?
The definition above says a hallucination is something not present. However, they shared something that was present. Their vision was a present, shared version of reality. Maybe they peered together into the future? Or the past? But somehow, they saw the same thing at the same time. I find that intriguing.
The word, “energy,” can mean so many things. You may feel you have too much of it, or not enough. You may think of volcanoes, waves, or cars. Or you may think of hippies and “woo-woo” things. In the end, the best thing you can do is to trust your own inner compass, when it comes to what you believe and find helpful when it comes to any form of energy. That is what I wish for you, and for me too. It is a practice.
But, here’s the thing:
One of my teachers, John Barnes, said, “Without awareness, there is no choice.”
So today, I want to write to you about things that have to do with energy. Because eventually, I want to write about how to change the way you feel and call those changes, “frequency states.” I want to tell you about how that feeling, that is like being stabbed when someone says something to you, or looks at you a certain way, is a real thing and has to do with energy. And I want to talk about ways to live in a world filled with frequencies like soft spider webs that you are a part of, and can learn to manage and navigate to provide you with more joy, and self-empowerment.
I want to talk to you about the sea of energy around you and all the ways it may affect you, so you can exist in it with more freedom. It is a practice, a transformational practice and it is not always easy.
But first, I want to invite you to consider that the energetic world around you may include more than you have been taught in school or by society and I would like to lift the edge of the magic carpet, just a little, to allow a crack of light to come into this space we share together and shine its way towards a new experience of what people call “reality.”
“Without awareness, there is no choice.”
Transformation is so much easier with awareness and the choice that offers.
So, let’s dive into energy.
In what we call physical reality, everything seems solid. Let’s not discount that or go esoteric and scientific and talk about everything being mostly space. Because really, I imagine it is not actually space anyway. It is energy. And reality is not just what you touch and see.
Energy fascinates me. As a child, I read Richard Bach’s book, Illusions. In that book, the main character could melt his body into the earth and swim in it like it was made of water. He could also transport his physical body to different locations, like beaming somewhere with a “transporter” in Star Trek movies.
As I little girl, I tried, quite seriously, to do both of those things. I didn’t succeed.
I am a big fan of personal experience. I want to feel things for myself. Now if I can’t, that doesn’t mean I don’t think things are not real or possible. My chi gong teacher told me she has seen someone put a hand through a wall…not punching it, but into it, (and back out again, I am sure, as she didn’t mention the chi gong adept got stuck with his hand in a wall).
I have another friend who knows someone who trained herself to live on only air, also known as chi or prana. I did not meet the lady. He told me she quit after learning how, as her mouth was dry all the time and she missed eating meals with her family. It was a social thing.
In the recent nutrition book I read, The Detox Miracle Sourcebook, the author spoke of that technique and his early steps to learn how to do it. After six months of eating only oranges (we are adaptable aren’t we?), he quit as he felt his energy frequency was getting too high to exist on the earth in a grounded way.
My mother has a necklace her spiritual teacher made by waving his hand in front of her. She also has a photo of him that has a light white powder (no not LSD) that appeared on it and is seen as a sign of blessing in that particular spiritual lineage.
Now, that teacher, like so many, fell into disrepute. And still, my mother has a photo sprinkled with vibhuti, or sacred ash.
Personally, I believe many people can learn to do amazing things, sometimes called siddhis, that appear miraculous, while they are still evolving in many ways. We all are. In my opinion, the ability to do amazing things does not make someone trustable. But it does make things interesting.
All of this is to point to energy and its reality, even though it is unseen. Because I can’t talk about energy fields in a serious way, if all you feel around you is empty space and that is all you believe is there. And, I very much believe it is important to experience things for yourself. For me, it has helped to allow for the potential that interesting things can happen, even if I haven’t experienced them yet.
Here are some things I have experienced:
(And I share them, to open up the realm of possibility for you, and to validate you. Please don’t feel “less than” if you tell yourself nothing similar ever happens to you. That is the beginning statement of many exciting journeys anyway: “Nothing interesting ever happens to me.” And then things do.
I am sharing these stories because you, yes you, deal with energy every day. You have to believe and feel it is there in order to consciously experience and navigate it.
So the point of this whole post is to circle back to that initial quote above: “Without awareness there is no choice.” This is about awareness and opening to possibility. I don’t suggest you read things here and take them as truth. There is nothing better than personal experience. But, please don’t limit yourself to only what humans have discovered so far.
Science, just like your life and energy, has a leading edge that changes all the time. I know you are aware of that because you aren’t worried about falling off the edge of the earth anymore).
So hold tight; here we go.
Experience number one:
I am with my sister and our two young friends. I must have been around eight or ten. They have a Ouija board they invite me to use. Something feels creepy to me, so I decline. I have never used a Ouija board. FYI if you don’t know what a Ouija board is, it is used for divination, meaning you ask questions and it gives you answers in some way (that is all I know as I still refuse to use one…no judgement, it just doesn’t align with something in me).
I think I had an inner “no” to it because I know better than to open myself to messages from anything random that wants to talk to me from the subtle realms.
Energy, and energy beings, in my opinion, can be messy, or incredibly lovely. It is simply about the frequency of the energy and how it feels. The thing is, you don’t need to be afraid. Just discerning. Somehow I was. Discerning that is—with that Ouija board. I don’t know why.
But that day, I did say yes to something. My creative young friends had another idea.
The idea was that one of us, the biggest if I remember correctly, would lie on the floor. The other three of us would place two fingers under his body and chant: “light as a feather, light as a feather….” over and over, and believe it to be true. Then the theory was that we would be able to lift him up with our finger tips and he would be, “light as a feather.”
Now, you may have heard of people, in extreme and unexplainable states, lifting cars off of people. I don’t know how to do that. I don’t know how to do what we did that day again. But I do know that that day, that one time, my young friend was light as a feather and we raised him off the floor with no effort, with two fingers of each hand. We walked a little bit and moved his body forward in the air, as easily as moving a feather.
That left me with a sense of energy and physical reality, being more than I was taught.
Related experience #2:
I am in a class called Matrix Energetics. Hundreds of people are in the room. By now, I am a mom with my own kids, who were at home with their dad.
I, along with a number of other people, have volunteered to come up on stage. Richard, the facilitator, was demonstrating something to do with energy. All I remember is that we stood in line, facing the audience and he was going down the line, doing “magic” with his hand. People were falling over, or feeling some kind of physical effect. We could all see it.
Then he got to me and he waved his hand.
And nothing happened.
I didn’t feel anything.
I wasn’t going to fake it. It was interesting. We gazed into each others eyes and sized one another up.
He looked at me and said, “You are a dolphin in disguise. I just need to unzip you.” He moved his hand quickly in a downward motion like he was unzipping a sleeping bag.
He was at least four feet away and I was thrown onto my back, hard.
There was no doubt that energy, invisible energy, had just hit me with great force, like a fire hose. I also ended up in peals of laughter rolling around on the stage. But that is another story.
The main thing is that that was my moment, my true moment, when I knew, with no doubt in my mind, that energy was real, powerful, and has physical effects.
I have heard that saints and adepts can learn to float in the air. I don’t know how to do that either. But if energy can knock me over, I don’t see why people can’t use it to levitate. Maybe Jesus really did walk on water? Maybe Moses really could part the sea? And there was experience #1…
But let’s move on.
Fun energy experience #3:
Recently I went to Ireland with my son. Sometimes, I take photos and get pictures of orbs. Some people think orbs are energetic beings. Some think they are simply light that hits the lens in a certain way.
I read a book about them because I was curious to learn more about what they are, since they seemed to show up in a number of pictures I took. The book didn’t answer my question. However, the author included lots of pictures she had taken that had orbs in them and she zoomed in on some of them and showed their varied geometric shapes. They were like snowflakes with beautiful structures. So I started doing this too and it was fun.
She also had a picture of an orb her dog was barking at. She said when she took it, she couldn’t see what he was barking at and she snapped a few photos anyway. In the photo, he is barking and snapping at an orb, invisible to the eye. The next photo showed the orb with a chunk ripped out of it. So I imagine dogs can see orbs. This made me think more about the solidity of the orbs and that even though I couldn’t see them with my eyes, there seemed to be a physical reality to them.
But they were orbs and I wouldn’t write about them now, as I feel I don’t know enough (even though I do have some pretty clear images… and I also learned in the book that they seem to like water and misty places, in case you are hoping to photograph one…). Except something happened recently that did answer a bit of my question about what they might be.
Here is a green one floating behind my friend:
And these from a Christmas Eve event in Williamsburg…
And here are some in Kauai, by a waterfall:
This brings me to Ireland. In Ireland, I was enticed to buy a ticket from a farmer who said that in addition to the ancient beehive huts on his land, there was an underground passage where once a year, at solstice, the light of the sun would shine and illuminate a stone at the end. Now, in Ireland, there is a quite famous place outside of Dublin called Newgrange. It is a huge burial ground that makes me think of the pyramids or Stonehenge. I still haven’t been. But Irish people and many tourists flock there to see a similar magical solstice moment, where light shines through a passage and illuminates a certain stone, once a year.
On this day, I was at a kiosk on the Dingle Peninsula talking to the farmer. My son and I had been driving and stopping at small, scenic places that sold cups of tea, had views of ancient stone fairy circles, and sometimes had friendly animals to pet.
It was now the afternoon, and we had already explored some ancient beehive huts (which look like igloos made out of stone) and I was getting tired. But when this farmer told me about the tunnel, and that he was almost ready to close his little kiosk, I was intrigued. I wanted to crawl through the passage and see that stone. I wanted to see if I could feel anything.
So we bought two tickets and climbed up a green, grass-tufted hill to the huts overlooking the wild Atlantic sea. After my son tested the tunnel (which I think he felt might contain hidden spiders, and was only large enough for one person to go in and out of at a time), I crawled in and had a few quiet moments before more people arrived.
And, for those few moments, I sat with my back against the stone at the end of the dark passage and gazed at the lighted opening where I had entered. I closed me eyes. I didn’t have enough time to really feel anything in a deep way as I heard people coming. So I snapped a few pictures. It looked like there might have been a green orb in them. That was exciting to me.
Later, I zoomed in on the green light in the photos. And for the first time, it appears to me that I took a picture of an energy being. I will show you the picture below. I hope it is ok with the being. I imagine that it must be some kind of guardian or caretaker.
Something for me, changed in that moment, and even though I have not learned to see energy beings with my eyes, as some people I know say they can, I feel I have now had my own personal experience of one that is documented in a visual way. For me, I am sure there is a lot happening around us, that is unseen.
Remember, “without awareness there is no choice.”
That is a really big deal.
And we live in a society that typically calls people “crazy” who push the edge of what is socially accepted as reality. It is scary for them. Galileo was killed for saying the earth revolves around the sun. That was heresy.
So, I understand if you choose to hold your own expanded states close to your heart. I just want you to know that they are special, and that they matter. You matter. And perhaps you too, sense that invisible energy is real and that the world is much more than our mind tells us it is.
For me, I decided to study various energetic practices and modalities. I have learned to feel subtle frequencies of things. I have learned to write to “my crew” for guidance and I find answers that help me, and I have done a lot of emergent and family constellation work where I have been able to experience the energetic states, emotions, and sensations of different people and things. A few times, dead people have talked to me and wanted me to tell someone something (and I can’t do that on request, so please don’t ask…).
I know that energy can feel dense, sticky, clear, clean, wavy, exquisitely beautiful or like a dagger. I know it is powerful as it knocked me over one time. All of that helps me navigate the world differently. That is what I offer you as a greater possibility. You may already have related experiences and if so, these words today are here to validate and encourage you.
My chi gong teacher told me clearly that none of us experience things the same way. She often would tell our class, “trust what you get.” Your experience will be different than mine.
So, I will end with what she taught me:
Trust yourself. Trust what you get.
In the end, you are the best authority. And I suggest, that you are a fish, swimming in a sea of energy, just like me, and you and I can become aware of it, more and more. We can learn to dance with the seen and unseen world around us, and thus, become more empowered and more free.
Becoming a Butterfly is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.