Quick and simple pro-tip: Just say "Ahhhh...."
How to release stress fast
Do you sometimes notice you are just a little bit tense? It seems to me that we are all faced with many micro-moments of triggering circumstances. Newsfeeds, schedules, behaviors of other humans that we may not enjoy, the state of the world, money concerns, and time pressure are some of many things that come to mind. I am sure you know what I mean. It is like there are tiny shocks in life that happen, and we react to them by tensing inside and out.
I noticed one such event happen to me and I played with it a bit, by owning it physically and then releasing it.
By owning it physically, I mean that my body was already tensing and I decided to exaggerate what I was experiencing. There was already a micro-moment of shock happening in me, as a reaction to something.
You know when someone says, “How are you?” and you say, “I’m fine,” often without thinking? It is easy to brush off how we are feeling or to be too busy to notice. But how you are feeling matters. It matters because your emotions are energy-in-motion and they create feelings or sensations, which can sometimes be restrictions, in your body. And if you are pulling in your energy to protect yourself from the world around you, your body will react like there is a physical threat coming.
So, I decided to exaggerate my emotional and physical reaction to a micro-stressor, and allow myself to feel it even more, in order to help me release it. My idea was to acknowledge what was happening and then tell my body I was not in danger after all, kind of like progressive relaxation when you tense and then release a muscle.
Here is what you do:
1. Notice that something has happened that startles you, and take a quick in-breath.
2. Now, tell yourself everything is fine after all and let it your breath out with an audible, “Ahhhh….” that sounds like you just took a bite of the best thing ever.
That’s it.
Immediate stress relief.
Quick in-breath; slow out-breath with an “Ahhhh….”
You can do it more than once if you are feeling particularly stressed.
I found, at the time, that it helped me.
Sometimes, it is very helpful to simply just exhale with the “Ahhhh…” You may not have a micro-stress event happening. You may want to just offer your body a big, soft, general release with a simple “Ahhhhh…” just as you sometimes yawn. A great, fully expressed yawn feels amazing doesn’t it?
Sometimes, I have observed a friend exhale strongly through pursed lips, habitually. I believe this is another way to release energy. I have found myself doing it in the past at times. But it does feel different because my mouth is not relaxed and there is more of a feeling of trying to get rid of the energy of something. It can be great to do that too. In the end, I think there can be a place for almost everything and you can simply experiment and trust yourself to find what feels helpful for you.
By that, I suggest you let yourself be free to use different techniques and to let whatever you are doing change over time. Becoming a butterfly involves flow rather than rigid technique. You may flow into somethings, then into new things, then back to things from the past again (but in a new way because you are new and always changing). You may come up with your own techniques without thinking much about it. My friend who exhales with tight lips did this. When I asked her about it (as at the time, she had just blown air into my face and I have to admit to feeling a little annoyed), she told me she felt it reduced stress. Well yes, of course it did. And no, I didn’t blow air back into her face from the energy I felt that I, in return, needed to release. She wasn’t trying to upset me. I probably could have used the technique I am writing about here though.
That is to say that I am always dabbling in things and experimenting, and I will share some experiments with you here. Maybe, like a golden thread, it will simply lead you to notice your breathing at some later point today, and to check in with how you are feeling, which will guide you to more awareness of how you are so you can do something kind for yourself in relation to what you discover. Remember that post I sent you a few weeks ago, with that phrase: How can I love myself more in this situation?
Today, on a walk by the river, I met a lovely man and we spoke of lots of techniques we used for different things. He had experienced a traumatic brain injury which made him more sensitive than most people to environmental stimulants. For instance, at one point in our conversation, he asked me apologetically and with a lot of kindness, to lower my voice, and he mentioned that the patterns of leaves on the ground could sometimes make him feel unwell or bring on an anxiety attack. He was young, and riding his mountain bike. He mentioned that he had a dog now, since his injury, which was resting and panting happily next to us, and that lots of things in his life had changed. He also had a girlfriend, lived in a trailer by a stream on his brother’s property, had chickens with baby chicks he was enjoying, lots of fruit trees he had planted around it, and spent very little money. He was beautiful.
He told me he found ketosis helped him (which is a high fat diet and a state one can achieve in which you burn fat for fuel rather than sugar). I told him I was currently experimenting with eating more like a frugivore (eating lots of raw fruit, which is not keto at all). And he told me he had lived on only juice for a few weeks. So we also talked about juicers. Mostly, we were two sensitive people discussing things we did or were doing to feel good and to feel closer and more connected to the beauty of the world.
There is a book called Breath by James Nestor, that goes into a lot of breathing techniques and the science behind them. Honestly, I found there were too many options for me and I was a bit confused by end of the book regarding which to choose and why. But there is a lot of research there if you are interested in that kind of thing.
Then there is Wim Hoff, known as The Ice Man. He has a book, an app, great YouTube videos, and teaches about the breath and cold water plunges. I like him. I played with his app and learned to hold my breath for two minutes. I tried a few cold water plunges.
All that is to say that I think, as long as you are not doing anything that feels too extreme for your situation, it is good to experiment and see what works for you. None of this is medical advice, or advice at all. This is just one butterfly talking about how things are going with another butterfly, you.
So, with all that said, here is a story I wrote a few weeks ago of how I came up with the little technique I am sharing with you here:
Today in yoga class the instructor suggested we lengthen our breath a lot, all of a sudden, to soothe our nervous system.
This doesn’t work for me. At least not right away and especially when I am asked to switch gears so fast. Controlling my breath in extreme ways, especially suddenly, often causes me to feel anxious. That is because I have been in a situation where I found it hard to breathe at one point in my life. Sometimes, those pesky situations from the past echo into our present experience. And this can be an opportunity to teach your body that all is well, and you are fine.
“I survived” is a great phrase to tell yourself. Often, things that trigger stress in your system may be related to similar things that happened to you in the past. Nothing is wrong with you. It is just that your body remembers and wants to protect you. It is not trying to make life hard for you. “I survived” is a way of letting both your past and present self know that all is well now. It is one way to release reactions that are no longer serving you.
In my case, my unknowing, well-intentioned yoga teacher had mentioned exhaling to a count of eight in the middle of a strenuous, you-need-to-breathe hot yoga class.
Now, I know the nervous system, in most people (maybe you), gets a signal that everything is ok when the exhale gets longer than the inhale. Or even the same length. I like this too. Just not in that moment, suddenly.
And I was thinking about what would tell my nervous system everything is ok? What would re-set it? What would be easy that I could do instead, that would work for me? What really happens to cause and release anxiety?
Well, first my nervous system would need to be re-set from an anxious state, kind of like when you do progressive relaxation and tense and release a muscle, consciously. My grandmother used to guide me through this at night when I was little and I have fond memories of it. And it is still often used by people in various classes today, as is the suggestion to “let go” with an audible exhale. I decided to try putting the two techniques together. I would create a stressful state and then a release, through my breath. I would exaggerate my startled feeling (and take a quick in-breath). Then I would let go of the stress because everything is ok. “Ahhhh…..” and make an audible sound on the out-breath. I would let go of my fear and anxiety with that out-breath and it would feel good. It would be a relief. “I survived.”
Quick inhale.
Then: “Ahhhh…”
It is good to be sure you don’t fall into making a sound like you are opening your mouth for the dentist, or for a doctor to insert a wooden stick into your mouth to look down your throat. If it sounds or feels like that; you haven’t discovered it yet. Try some more. I find my car to be an excellent practice venue; just pull over if any sensation is distracting.
When you have it, it will feel good. So good, that if you are not alone in your car, you might attract someone who comes over looking for a date. That would be a good sign you have found it.
You will have to navigate that one on your own.
What I can say, is it worked for me in that yoga class. So I am handing it to you. For sure, we are all becoming butterflies together all the time and it is not always easy.
So, good luck and have fun! Let it feel good. That can be a practice too.
And really, step 2 can be enough…. I invite you to find what feels right for you.
Just say:
Ahhhhh…