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Sometimes, You Just Need Rest, or a Change of Place
When coping and techniques are not enough
Last week, I wrote about how to transform emotional and physical pain by bringing care to what you feel, and feeling it more.
And sometimes, that isn’t enough. Sometimes what you feel is a signal you need a change.
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We are all sensitive beings and the environment you are in matters. The people you are around matter. What you do during the day matters. It all affects you. Sometimes, you just need a break. Sometimes you need to completely liquify and start over.
I am thinking of this as I recently completed my second attempt at what to send you this week. I have a very talented son who does some editing for me. He said what I wrote was nice. And then he asked me what people were supposed to get from it?
You see, I wrote about my day. I was savoring it. It was the most relaxing day I can remember ever having.
And as one of my public speaking teachers has said, “So what and who cares?”
Now, this is not what my son said at all. I think he was happy to read my little blog and hear what was happening.
And it is a good question: Why does it matter to you?
Well, I believe our nervous systems sometimes need a break. Sometimes it is a break from a job, a relationship, a city, a house…anything. A break allows you to feel what you need and where you thrive.
In some ways, I feel like we are all like plants. We need different environments. We need different social relationships, different jobs, different food. It is an exploration to find what feels good for you.
How did I end up in my most relaxing day in recent memory? Well, I got here by getting sick. I got here from feeling overwhelmed and overextended. That’s ok. There is nothing wrong with me. I just needed rest.
There is nothing wrong with you if you find yourself in a less than optimal state.
Some books make it sound like getting sick means your energy is off, your thoughts are messed up, and in some way, you are clearly not as evolved as you could be. Or you would not be sick.
I think sometimes a good fever is a good detox.
And sometimes a little less than optimal state, is optimal in another way. It offers the gift of rest.
Now, you might say, I “should” have rested before. Then I wouldn’t have gotten sick.
Well, there is a lot going on for me. I have compassion for that. I am traveling in a new country on my own. I am meeting so many, many people, learning names and living in a state of frequent transitions.
I am never at my best not knowing where I will sleep the next night. Yet this exploration requires that of me. So sometimes I don’t sleep well. Then, I have been busy.
I have enjoyed the things I have been doing. But it has been a lot.
Eventually, I booked a hotel in a remote place. For two weeks. I thought this would allow me to land a bit.
Then I found a lovely casita I could rent long-term, available soon, which is one thing I have been looking for.
So two weeks at my newly found oasis turned into four nights.
Top that off with a lovely young man who was interested in me, packing my suitcase and bags and moving, feeling a new environment yet again, which all led to another night of poor sleep, and I woke up with a fever.
A nice restful kind of fever.
Because this hotel at the end of a dirt road overlooking the ocean, is quite restful. The pool is warm and soothing. The surfers are dancing in the waves. And I have been at peace. There has been nothing I had to do. It is quiet.
Sometimes, you can feel things more. You can bring care to yourself. You can study self-help books. You can talk to people. And sometimes you just need to change your environment to allow your body to rest and experience some new frequencies.
I was thinking about this as I spoke to a friend struggling with some things. I could feel the energy of it and it was familiar to me. It reminded me of so much I had been through. So much that had shaken me. Divorce, trauma patterns, confusion, uncertainty. PTSD. CPTSD. Codependency.
It has been a journey to this day of peace.
And what I have here for you is just a pointer that yes, if you are not feeling quite right, sometimes a change of physical location and who you are around can help. It can help a lot.
Sometimes, it is hard to feel your inner compass if you are in the midst of what I want to call a shit-show (and I am trying not to swear).
With psychedelic healing, there are two quite important things. They are called set and setting. Before embarking on a transformational journey, your mental state and preparation matter. Your physical environment matters and who is with you matters. Those things matter a lot. A transformational journey requires the right energy. It requires you to be held, and ready.
If you are addicted to things (and this can be quite unconscious) it can be very helpful to be away from the things that trigger behaviors in you that are not serving you.
Sometimes a short break can give you perspective. Sometimes, you may decide to shred your life and start differently. It is that caterpillar liquifying thing.
I am not telling you what to do. I am just saying that care matters and sometimes you have to leave where you are at to feel what you need and what feeds your soul and your energy.
It is different for all of us.
Here, today, I savored floating in water that felt like a womb and just staring at the trees, the sea, the fireflies, the dark cliffs, and the surfers dancing in the sea. I watched a rooster strut by. I watched dogs lie amidst noise and activity so relaxed I thought they were dead.
They were not.
It is ok for you to take a break or find time.
You may tell yourself this is impossible.
It is not. You can pray about it. And sometimes, you may simply get sick to detox and slow down a bit.
No matter what, don’t make yourself wrong for it.
You are a beautiful being. You are God’s prayer and you are finding your way, just like me.
And a little shift of your physical and energetic environment can matter more than it seems.
If you find this helpful, please share it with someone you think would benefit. Or leave a comment below that you think might help someone reading.
In some ways, despite my resistance to the phrase, we are all in this together.
Here is a song I have been listening to today called Miles Are Wide, by Ocie Elliot. It speaks to this theme and it is soothing. We all need that sometimes.