Every morning, almost like a ritual, I find myself reflecting over my coffee on the choices I made nearly thirty years ago, wondering what I could have done differently to shape the adults my children have become. Back then, I divorced and had minimal influence over their lives. Now, the story they tell about me centers around the narrative of a dysfunctional and emotionally manipulative ex-wife. The digital culture they grew up in only reinforces and narrows that perspective, allowing them to congeal around ideas of how they've been wronged by their parents. It's been thirty years, and while I don’t say this with bitterness, it is a cold, hard reality. I did the best I could as a non-custodial parent, with little hope of ever gaining custody.
That said, I find your perspective both important and enlightening. Your writing is poignant and captivating—definitely not the typical Substack I read, but so well crafted and insightful. I had promised myself no more Substack subscriptions, but yours is absolutely worth it. And honestly, I doubt you'll need my measly five bucks a month in a year’s time, when this gem of a Stack grows and gains the recognition it deserves. This piece deserved at least one comment and I’m glad it was mine (so far).
Well, dear Jack. I read your comment while once again questing in the city of San Salvador for a criminal background check with the English driver/interpreter I hired who turned out to not speak English. Meanwhile, I have decided wholeheartedly to finish my book: I Want A Divorce: losing everything and finding yourself. I wanted to remember the post you were commenting on, so I waited to respond until I got home so I could go back and read it. I must say I am deeply touched and the timing was so lovely as I feel supported and encouraged by your words and subscription gift. I don’t push for paid subscribers and I have very few. My blog is growing organically and I feel happy to be writing and offering it. It was good for me to read that post again as much I write is what I am doing, and can do more of. Thank you. I am so sorry Jack. It is so hard to live with such distance from children when one expects things to be so very different. In the end dear man, you are who you are, doing your best. And whether anyone gets it or sees it is just the way it is. I like to think all of us are having experiences we came for, hard as they can be. And to know you are valued and loved regardless of those experiences is a process sometimes. I still have to pause and remember it, which you have helped me do. So thank you my new paid subscriber Jack for your time reading and your incredibly encouraging words. I shall take a screen shot of them.
Every morning, almost like a ritual, I find myself reflecting over my coffee on the choices I made nearly thirty years ago, wondering what I could have done differently to shape the adults my children have become. Back then, I divorced and had minimal influence over their lives. Now, the story they tell about me centers around the narrative of a dysfunctional and emotionally manipulative ex-wife. The digital culture they grew up in only reinforces and narrows that perspective, allowing them to congeal around ideas of how they've been wronged by their parents. It's been thirty years, and while I don’t say this with bitterness, it is a cold, hard reality. I did the best I could as a non-custodial parent, with little hope of ever gaining custody.
That said, I find your perspective both important and enlightening. Your writing is poignant and captivating—definitely not the typical Substack I read, but so well crafted and insightful. I had promised myself no more Substack subscriptions, but yours is absolutely worth it. And honestly, I doubt you'll need my measly five bucks a month in a year’s time, when this gem of a Stack grows and gains the recognition it deserves. This piece deserved at least one comment and I’m glad it was mine (so far).
Well, dear Jack. I read your comment while once again questing in the city of San Salvador for a criminal background check with the English driver/interpreter I hired who turned out to not speak English. Meanwhile, I have decided wholeheartedly to finish my book: I Want A Divorce: losing everything and finding yourself. I wanted to remember the post you were commenting on, so I waited to respond until I got home so I could go back and read it. I must say I am deeply touched and the timing was so lovely as I feel supported and encouraged by your words and subscription gift. I don’t push for paid subscribers and I have very few. My blog is growing organically and I feel happy to be writing and offering it. It was good for me to read that post again as much I write is what I am doing, and can do more of. Thank you. I am so sorry Jack. It is so hard to live with such distance from children when one expects things to be so very different. In the end dear man, you are who you are, doing your best. And whether anyone gets it or sees it is just the way it is. I like to think all of us are having experiences we came for, hard as they can be. And to know you are valued and loved regardless of those experiences is a process sometimes. I still have to pause and remember it, which you have helped me do. So thank you my new paid subscriber Jack for your time reading and your incredibly encouraging words. I shall take a screen shot of them.