Well, I really feel they were a gift. I don’t feel they are nasty guys. Just existing in ways that at times, don’t resonate well for me and how I want to live. They left tonight and I wished them well and I meant it. We are all on this journey, learning from one another and I grew from the experience and am still growing from it. I am honestly grateful to them. It was hard and triggered me for sure. But not every moment. Bless their chocolate eating hearts.
What do you mean? That was a perfect follow-up to your earlier piece on communication! This is why I love reading what you write. It's applicable in life. I also had a bit of a mess on Christmas eve, I also got angry. I called someone on being passive-aggressive and silent and "not doing the work of building a bridge". I am looking closely at my relationships. Respect is very important to me. Also, inaction IS an action. Context matters here. I won't get into it. We have moved beyond it, but it WAS necessary. I could have handled it a little better, yes. I wish I had read this the day before. Maybe I would have tempered my response a little more. I did add a dash of pepper and I could have refrained a bit there with the spice. Luckily we worked it out and have a good understanding now and something good DID come of it. But yeah, upon reflection I would have preferred to be a bit more self-contained. To be fair to myself, I was self-contained for about an hour and a half on this particular subject; before the passive-aggressive silence in response pushed me over the edge. But hey, we all have our excuses. HAha. I was perceiving a lack of care and general disrespect from someone who claims to care about me and respect me. So, I do not regret bringing it to the fore, but again, I could have done it with a little less spice. I appreciate what you share. I like the idea of the healthy anger. I will envision this for myself to use as my tool for my next passive-aggressive family member. (I am surrounded by them, and when I say that I only mean two, but their silence drives me BONKERS) HAHahaha. It irritates me. They think they have "won" because they do not respond. In my book, there are bridges to build. Inaction is an action, and frankly, it's often disrespectful to take no action. I expect the people who love me to indicate this by "doing the work" when there is work to do. Here's to you, my love. Your pictures are so cute :)
Oh thank you! Well all this is a process for sure and learning things is generally messy. Otherwise we would already have it down. The people you write of sound avoidant…or shut down…which is a strategy. So many coping mechanisms. We need them when we are young and it is good to see them. I noticed today as I explored healthy anger more that I get tension in my jaw when I am angry and I feel it when I am blaming myself or someone else. But if I feel angry and use it to simply notice what I need and take action, my jaw doesn’t react. I wrote a new affirmation to practice feeling: “Healthy anger flows through me like a pillar and provides clarity for me to make choices and decisions.” I just added that to my affirmations today so I am still test driving it 😉🙏❤️.
Hmm, it's good to see what other people are working on. That's the joy of community. Your mind might be over here on topic (A) while someone else is working on topic (s). It's good to have these things in mind. My brain is VERY busy right now and that's usually when anger gets to step in before I catch it and ask it how useful it is right now. *shakes anger by the shoulders and gently slaps it about the face, then throws marshmallows at it- hahaha. (It's an old tool I used to push through complicated things that require a LOT of energy.) I am going to keep this in mind and slow way, way down. The jaw says a lot. I have been grinding my teeth for a week. I must also work on that, too much going on at once does affect a person. It's good to see that coming and have a plan in place. May we all slide into peace as the days grow longer.
What an interesting post and unfortuante series of events, good that you were able to grow and learn from the situation from those nasty guys.
Well, I really feel they were a gift. I don’t feel they are nasty guys. Just existing in ways that at times, don’t resonate well for me and how I want to live. They left tonight and I wished them well and I meant it. We are all on this journey, learning from one another and I grew from the experience and am still growing from it. I am honestly grateful to them. It was hard and triggered me for sure. But not every moment. Bless their chocolate eating hearts.
What a wonderful way to hold it! Way to show the world how to love more. XO
Terra, I love you.
Ahhh Alicia. My friend. Thank you.
What do you mean? That was a perfect follow-up to your earlier piece on communication! This is why I love reading what you write. It's applicable in life. I also had a bit of a mess on Christmas eve, I also got angry. I called someone on being passive-aggressive and silent and "not doing the work of building a bridge". I am looking closely at my relationships. Respect is very important to me. Also, inaction IS an action. Context matters here. I won't get into it. We have moved beyond it, but it WAS necessary. I could have handled it a little better, yes. I wish I had read this the day before. Maybe I would have tempered my response a little more. I did add a dash of pepper and I could have refrained a bit there with the spice. Luckily we worked it out and have a good understanding now and something good DID come of it. But yeah, upon reflection I would have preferred to be a bit more self-contained. To be fair to myself, I was self-contained for about an hour and a half on this particular subject; before the passive-aggressive silence in response pushed me over the edge. But hey, we all have our excuses. HAha. I was perceiving a lack of care and general disrespect from someone who claims to care about me and respect me. So, I do not regret bringing it to the fore, but again, I could have done it with a little less spice. I appreciate what you share. I like the idea of the healthy anger. I will envision this for myself to use as my tool for my next passive-aggressive family member. (I am surrounded by them, and when I say that I only mean two, but their silence drives me BONKERS) HAHahaha. It irritates me. They think they have "won" because they do not respond. In my book, there are bridges to build. Inaction is an action, and frankly, it's often disrespectful to take no action. I expect the people who love me to indicate this by "doing the work" when there is work to do. Here's to you, my love. Your pictures are so cute :)
You sound very aware and proactive. And yes, we all are working on our own versions of things in our own way. Kind of like being part of a forest.
Oh thank you! Well all this is a process for sure and learning things is generally messy. Otherwise we would already have it down. The people you write of sound avoidant…or shut down…which is a strategy. So many coping mechanisms. We need them when we are young and it is good to see them. I noticed today as I explored healthy anger more that I get tension in my jaw when I am angry and I feel it when I am blaming myself or someone else. But if I feel angry and use it to simply notice what I need and take action, my jaw doesn’t react. I wrote a new affirmation to practice feeling: “Healthy anger flows through me like a pillar and provides clarity for me to make choices and decisions.” I just added that to my affirmations today so I am still test driving it 😉🙏❤️.
Hmm, it's good to see what other people are working on. That's the joy of community. Your mind might be over here on topic (A) while someone else is working on topic (s). It's good to have these things in mind. My brain is VERY busy right now and that's usually when anger gets to step in before I catch it and ask it how useful it is right now. *shakes anger by the shoulders and gently slaps it about the face, then throws marshmallows at it- hahaha. (It's an old tool I used to push through complicated things that require a LOT of energy.) I am going to keep this in mind and slow way, way down. The jaw says a lot. I have been grinding my teeth for a week. I must also work on that, too much going on at once does affect a person. It's good to see that coming and have a plan in place. May we all slide into peace as the days grow longer.